I recently accepted a new teaching job in North Atlanta, and I think that my dream is a combination of being anxious about that and also worrying about the dependability of my crappy car which I just purchased a few months ago, for cheap, from an old friend.
Hell, the car is paid for, so I should not complain, right?
In any case, I was walking into my classroom, which is what I will be doing tomorrow morning for the first meeting of this one particular class which I am facilitating--a simple ENG Comp I (ENG 106). I've taught this class dozens of times over the years, but I have never taught it at the new place, and it is a private college which does things a lot differently than what I am accustomed to, but hey (gabba gabba hey), I am happy to be back in the classroom after teaching primarily online for the past few years.
Well, in the dream, I can not get the students to do a damn thing I ask. I am writing on a chalkboard, and there is a big screen TV above and behind me in front of the class whose content I can not control. It is playing the World Series of Poker live from Vegas, and many of the students are enthralled. There is a strange host of students in the room, and the demographic is pretty well-represented, but odd. The lead guitarist of the band Chavez is there. There is an African-American female ballerina who insists on dancing during the whole class. There is this guy Lou who my ex in Savannah left me for, and he is getting frustrated about the dancing girl. There is this seven foot tall jock who reminds me of a guy who wanted to kick my ass in high school--a quintessential redneck. There is this tiny little white girl who looks like a pixie and is constantly applying her glittery lipstick. From "dream memory", which is like sand in the wind, I do remember that there was a random host of other students, all of whom would not pay attention to a damn thing I was asking them to do or not to do.
The general din of the class keeps getting worse, and when I try to raise my voice in the dream to reprimand them, it will not work. It's like sleep paralysis of the vocal kind. Then, I feel a draft across my crotch. I look down in the dream, and I am a centaur.
I immediately think, now while typing this anyway, that the famous teacher of Hercules, Chiron, was also a centaur.
I am wondering if I made this association in my dream or not because I have not thought about this mythical figure in ages. I mean, according to the Greeks, Chiron taught Patroclus, Actaeon, Theseus, Achilles, Ajaz, Jason, etc., just to name a few. If you are abreast of your Greek myths, you know what a big deal this aforementioned list here is. However, why would my sub-conscious conjure up me as a centaur? According to one dream site I visited, the centaur could actually represent a need for me to find union between the male and female aspects of my psyche.
In any case, I think that the centaur motif in my dream, which the students did not even seem to notice (the fact that I was a centaur all of a sudden, that is) might be more about me worrying about transportation to work (as a centaur, I would be my own vehicle) than Classically training a group of students to prepare them for epic and heroic deeds or the Trojan War. Also, I am a Gemini, so I LIVE constantly with my dueling female and male aspects. I am used to it (whereas many around me are not, lol).
So centaur dream leaves me awake at 2:23am, and there is no way I am falling back asleep. I get up, check my classes, do some freelancing, and start writing this. The room is cold, and I am acutely aware that winter has ensued. Am I still just recovering from daylight savings time? I am still up and that was 8 hours ago? So I guess that counts as insomnia.
I am listening to a podcast about Skinwalker Ranch and the crazy shit that goes on there. I think about the nature of the skinwalker, which is a type of shapeshifter, if you did not know, and the nature of the centaur. When the class got out of control, my animal nature kicked in in the dream, but my voice and power were still suppressed. The skinwalker, on the other hand, is a terrifying creature which can rip you apart with psychotic fury and powerful and proficient ease. These two creatures of primal energy, the skinwalker and the centaur, represent, to me, the transformation some part of me is trying to achieve. Of course the skinwalker could epitomize the dark side of this and the centaur more of the Appolonic or positive aspect. However, at 45, I am not so sure how much more change is in store for me. I can just try to be a better person, but my metamorphosis days are over. Still, in dreamtime, and accidentally by podcast, I am being reminded that some part of me really desires change. I don't really think I want to be young again, but I damn sure don't want to get any older.
Being middle-aged in the winter and having paralysis centaur dreams. I know, First World problems, right? Chiron lived somewhat vicariously through his epic hero students. He was even killed eventually by a poison arrow shot by one and then placed into the night sky by Zeus as a constellation, but I will let you look that up yourself. I wonder if centaurs sleep standing up? Rambling at this point.
All in all, I will have to transform into the good professor by 8:00am tomorrow for 29 students. May the insomnia and the winter bite just abate tonight, because I have to brave Atlanta rush hour all the way to Dunwoody. The third piston is mis-firing in the old wreck, and that needs to be fixed, but I think I should be able to make it up there, Zeus willing. I am hoping to exhaust my mind sufficiently today through writing and class prepping to the extent that I can properly pass out tonight.
Let's hope none of the students bring any poison arrows. Hell, unless they can find an app on their cell phones for that, I should be just fine...
Glad to hear that you are back in the classroom.
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